TV Forgiveness

For the most part, Breaking Bad implies that forgiveness can seem like a good idea, but one has to decide whether the act of forgiving will be a relief or an exposure to future threats. I was thinking about the idea of forgiveness while I stomped down East 84th Street to work today. Let’s face it, the reason for my fugue state was simple: […]

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100 Days of Depression

This doesn't even look like me. #100daysofdepression Day 1 A photo posted by Lauren Hudgins (@laurenhudgins) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:02pm PST On November 11, I started a #100DaysofDepression selfie project on Instagram. I photograph myself once a day while battling Seasonal Affective Disorder. This isn’t an original idea. I got the “inspiration” from […]

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once you leave

Once you leave your mother’s breast for the garden you must learn to grow yourself. All greensticks and gangly you will climb fences like ivy and reach for the light or you will crawl the dark way of wolf’s bane skinwalker, shape shifter yee naaldlooshii going to ground on all fours. The latch of love […]

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How to Be Famous

  It was the coldest day of the year. My wife and I sat at a table at Embers drag club, watching the leaves swirl in little tornadoes on the street outside. “Are you nervous?” my wife asked. “No,” I lied. We were waiting for the Tegan and Sara concert at the Roseland Theater. Sara […]

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left a warrior

 for Leslie Feinberg in the span of two mountains, in the space between trains, we move in quick, bite the hands that cut us, kick back our finger on the heart of the beet The sink’s short memory Washed The blues of it, red juices, stained steel, both two or more things true and the […]

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The Many Lives, Two Deaths and Double Kidnapping of Dr. Ellsworth: Part One

This guest contribution comes from Ross Eliot, who wrote a memoir about his time living with Dr. Babette Ellsworth, a prominent college professor, trans woman, and aspiring nun in Portland, Oregon. * I moved to Portland in 1998 from Seattle. A twenty-two year old with little direction in life, I soon began attending Portland Community College. […]

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I have been camping in my house for a week. This sounds strange when I say it to people. They ask, to clarify, if I’ve moved back into my house. Like every question this year, the answer is complicated, full of footnotes and asides and more questions—“did I tell you…?” “Did you know that…?” “Well, […]

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Connecting to Anna Akhmatova

This guest contribution comes from Kathleen O’Neil. Kate attended McGill University in Montreal and has had her art history, literary criticism, and poetry published. She travels extensively, especially to see Etruscan cave tombs and to try regional cuisines. She is an editor at LitNav, which highlights mostly new (and sometimes classic) poets and poetry. * People […]

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A Culture of Life Imagined

I’ve been worried about the erosion of reproductive rights.  I’ve imagined these all leading to a dystopian hell where women are arrested for miscarriages and families facing infertility are denied the procedures that would allow them to bear children.  Silly, naive me.  I hadn’t noticed this has already come to pass and is much worse […]

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10 Reasons to Win NaNoWriMo

“I’m doing National Novel Writing Month,” I tell my writing students. “It’s fun.” They give me the look I give my trainer when he talks about a “really fun triathlon.” It’s like that really fun diet where you eat nothing but chard. But it is fun, and thousands of people participate every year. The goal is to write […]

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Dear readers, If I fail to write a PDXX Blog post every two weeks, I must be excused because: I have SAD. I have sadness. I don’t fucking feel like it. Any kind of deadline brings crushing anxiety. (Yes, I went to graduate school to be a writer. Don’t judge me like that. I can […]

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Goodbye House

I’ve lived in my home for seven years.  It’s been full of joy and heartache, struggle and fun.  A few months after moving in, we found our bathroom rotting away.  This was a fix we had requested the owner complete, and he did a half-assed job of it, therefore not finding the extensive rot, and […]

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What’s Your Ghost Story?

What ghost story do you love? I was waiting for a Manhattan-bound Q train to pick me up and I thought about this. The platform was hushed, as outdoor platforms often are in between passing trains. I heard a woman at one end, or maybe the other side, humming to herself. I couldn’t tell if the […]

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“I Knew if She Caressed Me, I Would Die” – Excerpt from Forgive Me if I Told You This Before

“I Knew if She Caressed Me, I Would Die” excerpt from Forgive Me if I’ve Told You This Before The club was in a section of town that appeared to be nothing but warehouses. “I don’t think this is right.” Chloe’s knuckles had been white on the wheel ever since we pulled out of the Singing […]

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